Vanessa’s story: “Lindi was a breath of fresh air."

Vanessa was diagnosed with anal cancer in 2019. Doctors kept telling her she had an internal hemorrhoid but one day she woke up and couldn’t walk. A colonoscopy revealed the grapefruit-sized tumor and she was wheelchair bound for three months before undergoing chemotherapy and radiation.
By the start of 2021, she was on the road to recovery but in August that year she found a lump on her breast. Within two days she was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer.

“It was just tough. My children live in Western Australia, telling them I had cancer the first time was horrible because no one could go anywhere thanks to lockdown. I told them I’d finished treatment then had to ring them with the news about breast cancer. That was devastating.

“I didn’t know how to feel at the time. I was all over the place, but I thought I had two choices, I can either let it beat me or I can climb this mountain and get on with it and do it. So that’s what I decided to do, I moved the mountain.”

Vanessa started chemotherapy within a fortnight of being diagnosed with breast cancer and genetic testing revealed she carried the BRCA1 cancer gene.

During this time, there was a brief window when borders opened and her children, aged 22 and 16, could visit from WA.

“It was tough for them, by that time I’d lost all my hair, I’m an ex-hairdresser so they’re used to seeing me all done up and that was difficult for them. After they flew back, WA went into lockdown again,” Vanessa says.

“I’m grateful they were there, it was almost like they needed to see what I was going through. I remember my son saying, ‘Do you have to do this every week mum? Oh God mum, how do you do this? You come home from chemo and there’s no one here with you?’ I just told them that ‘Mum just has to do it, mums are tough’.”

Chemotherapy came with a myriad of complications, including hospitalisation for neutropenia and an infection caused by chemotherapy destroying her teeth, so she had to have the back ones removed.
Vanessa finished treatment in February 2022, the aggressiveness of the tumor and BRCA1 diagnosis meant she opted for a double mastectomy. An MRI in August showed shadows on her uterus, and because BRCA1 carriers have a higher risk of ovarian cancer, she had a full hysterectomy.

“I’ve got nothing left now. No teeth, no boobs and no insides,” Vanessa half-jokes. “I have to joke about things, that’s how I get through it.”

When Vanessa split with her partner, she moved from WA to SA to be closer to family. Her children wanted to stay in WA. It was a wrench, but she didn’t expect closed borders to keep them apart for so long.

Vanessa is single and while her parents and sister live nearby, she still came home to an empty house after chemotherapy.

“I had their support and could always call, but I think I decided that going through chemo I just needed that time to myself,” she says.

“Coming home on a Monday after chemo, knowing Tuesday-Thursday I’d feel like crap, I needed to give myself permission to do that and experience that feeling. I needed to process my emotions and I think by doing that it made me really strong.

“It’s been bloody tough but at the same time I would play a song over and over again, music is how I get through my emotions and moods. The Climb by Miley Cyrus really resonated with me – there’s always going to be another mountain, you will always have to climb it and make it move. I did that, I made it move.

“I look at myself now and just think, how did I do it?”

McGrath Cancer Care Nurse Lindi’s role in Vanessa’s recovery

It’s not an exaggeration to say that meeting Lindi changed the course of Vanessa’s life. And we’re not just talking about her medical treatment.

“Lindi was a breath of fresh air. To get a phone call from her and have a joke was incredible, she’d get my humor, and I decided to go to one of her support meetings,” Vanessa says.

“From that support group, I’ve now taken over it and am the coordinator. I am absolutely so passionate about helping women through their journey. What I found personally is we have a lot of support throughout our time going through treatments, but the hardest, toughest, loneliest and most emotionally difficult part has been after you’ve finished chemo, had surgery and people think you’re all good now.

“We’re not. This is why I’m now really passionate about this support group. It’s the emotional wellbeing we need post cancer.

“I want to be around women and lift them up to say that we are strong, we are powerful, and we can do this. I want to help empower women that have had cancer. I talk a lot in my support group with Lindi about self care, rejoicing and giving yourself permission to just do nothing if you want.”

As well as giving Vanessa a new purpose, Lindi was there to support her throughout treatment. It was especially important because Vanessa was living by herself.

“Lindi is so vibrant, she made me feel good. It doesn’t matter if I was having a bad day, I pick up the phone and Lindi is there to talk me through it,” Vanessa says. “Having Lindi was an absolute godsend, knowing that there was that support was invaluable. When I first spoke to her on the phone, I think we were both crying."

“So, when Lindi reached out to me I was very blunt, I said, ‘I’ve been through this before.' She said, 'I’m a McGrath Nurse and this is what we do.’ I cried when I realised I was actually going to get support and have someone to talk to about this.

“It’s why I’m so passionate about supporting other women.”